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Karny Kulcha
Nov. 21st, 2006 10:36 pmI just closed a pop-up window informing me that I had won a free laptop.
Just sittin' perusing this-n-that and won a free laptop. Sure. Could happen to anyone.
It's the American Dream, that you will be the Big Winner, that your Ship will Come In and you will be Set For Life.
It could happen any time. You could win the lottery, or cash-out at a local Indian casino, the Publisher's Clearing House people could show up on your doorstep any day now.
At any moment, anyone of us could find ourselves staring into a camera, jumping up and down like an idiot, because the fat corbie of wealth, sated on our neighbors' struggles had come to perch, with full colon, upon our shoulders.
And we must prepare for that day.
Because when you're living the American Dream, you realize something, that anyone who isn't a Big Winner is a Loser, and when your Ship has Come In and you are Set For Life, you realize that taxes are for the little people.
And you make your choices, and you line up your bets, and you plan around the day that you will be the Big Winner.
And you feel something wet and warm on your shoulder, as the fat corbie of wealth, with empty colon, flies out of the yard, over the picket fence, clutching your son's balogna sandwich, snatched from the resin table you bought at Wal*Mart.
And when, the next day, when you seek to return to the grey-beige world of your cubicle, you find it has ceased to be an option, because of whatever got installed on your computer when you clicked in the popup that said you had won a free laptop. You are handed a cardboard box instead, with a picture of the Wife and Kid at the Dells.
You go home, the kid is at school, the wife at work, and you grab a Piels out the fridge, and a can of refried beans you don't bother to decant, and you turn on the tube.
And there she is. Staring into the camera, jumping up and down, pigtails flying, screaming like an idiot, the Big Winner on the Price is Right.
And for you. For you there is an ad, telling you about a school you can attend to learn the skills you need for a rewarding career as a Urinal Cleaner.
But that's OK, because in your email there's a message from someone with the improbable name of Chasity Culver, telling you about a St0x that looks to show a 330% gain. And tomorrow.
Tomorrow, you will be the Big Winner.
As for me, I carefully closed my free laptop window, clicking my OS's real 'X' rather than the fake Windows XP 'X' on the image. I wouldn't mind being the Big Winner, but I'm not going to hitch my wagon to the notion either.
Miracles happen every day. The sun rises. A myriad of creatures, myself among them, greets the day. The dinner I ate last night departs my body by the appointed route. And when I have waged the day's war in cubeland, I come home to comfort.
Just sittin' perusing this-n-that and won a free laptop. Sure. Could happen to anyone.
It's the American Dream, that you will be the Big Winner, that your Ship will Come In and you will be Set For Life.
It could happen any time. You could win the lottery, or cash-out at a local Indian casino, the Publisher's Clearing House people could show up on your doorstep any day now.
At any moment, anyone of us could find ourselves staring into a camera, jumping up and down like an idiot, because the fat corbie of wealth, sated on our neighbors' struggles had come to perch, with full colon, upon our shoulders.
And we must prepare for that day.
Because when you're living the American Dream, you realize something, that anyone who isn't a Big Winner is a Loser, and when your Ship has Come In and you are Set For Life, you realize that taxes are for the little people.
And you make your choices, and you line up your bets, and you plan around the day that you will be the Big Winner.
And you feel something wet and warm on your shoulder, as the fat corbie of wealth, with empty colon, flies out of the yard, over the picket fence, clutching your son's balogna sandwich, snatched from the resin table you bought at Wal*Mart.
And when, the next day, when you seek to return to the grey-beige world of your cubicle, you find it has ceased to be an option, because of whatever got installed on your computer when you clicked in the popup that said you had won a free laptop. You are handed a cardboard box instead, with a picture of the Wife and Kid at the Dells.
You go home, the kid is at school, the wife at work, and you grab a Piels out the fridge, and a can of refried beans you don't bother to decant, and you turn on the tube.
And there she is. Staring into the camera, jumping up and down, pigtails flying, screaming like an idiot, the Big Winner on the Price is Right.
And for you. For you there is an ad, telling you about a school you can attend to learn the skills you need for a rewarding career as a Urinal Cleaner.
But that's OK, because in your email there's a message from someone with the improbable name of Chasity Culver, telling you about a St0x that looks to show a 330% gain. And tomorrow.
Tomorrow, you will be the Big Winner.
As for me, I carefully closed my free laptop window, clicking my OS's real 'X' rather than the fake Windows XP 'X' on the image. I wouldn't mind being the Big Winner, but I'm not going to hitch my wagon to the notion either.
Miracles happen every day. The sun rises. A myriad of creatures, myself among them, greets the day. The dinner I ate last night departs my body by the appointed route. And when I have waged the day's war in cubeland, I come home to comfort.
