By Popular Demand: The Background of Ensign Katz.

A couple of people (mud_in_your_eye and c_eagle) have asked me about my avatar. When I tell them that I just drew it one day, and threw the Starfleet Insignia on his shirt to break up the monotony, and then colored it red 'just because,' they always seem unsatisfied. So, although you'll never find me in one of them "Multi User Hissy Fits," and I probably won't ever role play the character, because such is not my way, here is the backstory of Ensign Katz.

Stardate: Random(5000)+50000.4

Captain Prescott of the USS Articles Of Confederation (NCC-1777), had been going through "red-shirts" at an alarming rate. It seemed like he was losing two or three per away mission. The reports were thick upon the desk of Admiral Scott, who had worn a red shirt through his entire career, surviving only because of his command-level position. He sifted through them.

Ensign Karlsen: Shot with a Romulan phaser. Ensign Smith: Skewered by a battleth wielded by a friendly but clumsy Klingon. Ensign Schwartz: Crushed by an avalanche of sentient rocks. Ensign McClintock: Dissolved by an acid secreting alien that was just trying to say "hello." Ensign Al-Basri: Shagged to exhaustion by 72 alien nymphomaniacs chanting "brain and brain, what is brain?" in unison. And so it went, page after tragicomic page.

And also on Admiral Scott's desk was the inevitable corollary: a personnel requisition from Captain Prescott. Scotty picked up the personnel file of one Ensign Michael Katz. Ensign Katz was descended from Old Mr. Johnson's famous cat, one Maxwell Katz (who was also the owner of a quite famous silver hammer). Ensign Katz's remarkable resilience was legendary in Starfleet. He had already survived 5 away missions with Kirk, and by some miracle, whenever McCoy had pronounced the words "He's dead, Jim" over Ensign Katz, there Ensign Katz would be when they beamed back up, demanding of Dr. McCoy just what he had meant when he said "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a veterinarian!"

Admiral Scott pressed a button on his desk. "Lieutenant Anderson, send Ensign Katz in please."

The door slid open and a bipedal cat walked into Scott's office. He spurned the chair, leaping instead onto the old-style CRT that Scott, ever the antiquarian, used as a visual interface.

"Katz, how would you feel about an assignment to the USS Articles of Confederation?"

"You mean 'Ensign-Killer' Prescott's ship?"

"Yes, it would seem a good fit for your unique talents."

"You know my terms."

"Hazard pay for the duration, then. It's less expensive than paying a death benefit every time Prescott gets curious about some rock."

"And plenty of catnip in the hydroponic garden. From what I've heard about this guy, I'm gonna need it."

"Done."

Welcome to the United Soviet States of AmeriKKKa

Bob Herbert of the New York Times reported and commented on the seizure of reporters' recordings of a public address by Antonin Scalia. Now since he is an opinion columnist, and not to be trusted on that account, I looked for a more reliable source and found ( this article from the Hattiesburg American, the paper whose reporter's recorder was seized. )

Scalia is very possibly the most disturbing figure in the American political system. In 7/2 rulings favoring the side of the Light, it is always him and Thomas that form the dissent. The nepotism implicit in his long term friendship with Dick Cheney and his refusal to recuse himself from a case that touches someone that he calls a friend speaks poorly of his respect for the notion of a fair, unbiased judiciary. And here we see a resistance to transparency that is inimical to the most fundamental notions democracy.

And this is what our Commander-in-Thief, the Resident of the United States, the foul usurper who would not have commandeered the Whitehouse without Scalia's vote, holds up as his paragon of Justice and his ideal for a replacement to any just who grows to old, infirm, or dead to continue in his or her duties.

And that is why it is absolutely imperative that anyone who cherishes a free America vote for Kerry; because if the Fortunate Son of the Oil Oligarchy gets to appoint a supreme court justice, you can expect a level of Judicial Activism that would warm the heart of Stalin.