richardf8: (Default)
Ducks and High Bush Cranberries are part of the same ecosystem.
Duck and Cranberry Sauce are two great tastes that go great together.
Ergo, the world was created by an intelligent designer with a good palate.
richardf8: (Default)
http://www.livejournal.com/community/ljdemocrats/1900681.html?style=mine#cutid1

By Arlo Guthrie
originally written by Steve Goodman
Katrina rewrite by Stephen Johnson

Living in the City of New Orleans
I'm gettin' by, but poor as poor can be
I voted for the man who'd keep me safest
By God, I knew he'd do alright by me.

All along the length of Bourbon Street friendly faces smile at me
Strolling down past cafes, pubs and bars
Passing I remember when, city full of old black men
Played saxaphones under the moon and stars.

Good mornin' America, how are you?
Don't you know me? I'm your native son!
I'm the place they call the City of New Orleans
I'll be doing fine soon as this storm is gone.

You know some say you lied to take us to war
Betting our lives, hoping no one's keeping score
Cut our funds and hoping for the best
But I hear the waves lapping at my door

You said no one could ever forsee this disaster
But that lie you tried to spread was soon revealed
Families with no cash or car, prayed to God to please stand guard
But the rising tide just would not recede

Good mornin' America, how are you?
Say don't you know me? I'm your native son!
I'm the jewel called the City of New Orleans.
I'll be under 20 feet when the day is done.

Swimming through the City of New Orleans
Wish I was in Memphis, Tennessee
Superdome, yeah we'll be there by morning'
And the federal government sure will rescue me

But all the men and women seem to drown in this bad dream
And the journalists still ain't told the truth
The president, he lies again
And asks us not to assign blame
This rain's sure made me lose my faith in you

Good night America, how are you?
Say don't you know me? I'm your native son!
I'm the lesson called the City of New Orleans.
I'll lose 50,000 lives before the nightmare's gone.
richardf8: (Default)
So last night Morgan and I were getting ready to do Havdalah. I was finding the service in my Siddur when Morgan made some noises: "Blah Blah Merlot Blah Blah Havdalah tonight?"

I gathered that she was stating a preference for which wine we should use. I imagined she was talking about about a bottle of Galilean Merlot that we opened a week ago and had not finished. So I said "Yes."

The next thing I hear is Morgan coughing as she runs to the kitchen. She is pouring wine down the sink and the smell of Acetic Acid fills the room. The bottle she has in her hand is from a Baron Herzog Merlot (From Languedoc) that had a little bit left in it and had been sitting, uncorked, on the bookshelf for so long that I had come to regard it as part of the furniture. To say that it had become vinegar would be an understatement. This stuff smelled like the solvent one uses to make joints in Plexiglass.

Had I been paying attention, what I would have heard was "Hey, do you want to use this rancid Herzog Merlot for Havdalah tonight?" It is really a question that should have answered itself in the negative. It should not have survived conscious attention long enough to get asked. But it did, and I spaced it.

We did Havdalah with some Ocean-Spray Cran Grape and I spent the rest of the evening making her drink Bicarb to neutralize the acid.

So guys, when noises come out of your SO's mouth, PAY ATTENTION! Otherwise you never know WHAT's gonna happen.
richardf8: (Default)
other than to say that when life imitates art, it should not resemble a National Lampoon film:

http://web2.iadfw.net/~elo/news/rapture.html

[Edit: 11:32pm CST: Snopes indicates this is an urban legend. Leaving it up because it is still quite funny.]

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